U2′s Summer “Reign” Has Begun!

U2-coffee

The summer of Bono and the boys has begun in full earnest as southern France has taken center stage once again as the vacation spot for those who not only found what they’re looking for, but bought it. Soon, Bono will be spotted wearing his Fedora du jour with his mismatching shirt and pant ensemble as he strolls through France looking like Colonel Mustard from the board game, Clue.  In this case, when all of Bono’s outfit colors bleed into one, it’s best to let the outfit bleed out and let it die with dignity on your bedroom floor. I’m no fashion plate, but who wears jeans to the beach? This takes the right to be ridiculous to a brand new level. Bono may have won the DNA lottery, but if his genes are telling him that those jeans are beach wear, we may need to do some more DNA testing. Note to Bono, you’re in the south of France, not Mali. You don’t have to worry about scorpions, snakes or being attacked by a swarm of malaria ridden mosquitoes, so no need to cover up. You did enough covering up when you moved your millions to the Netherlands! (kidding) It’s this heat, it’s getting to me.

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Then we have the inevitable annual “Let’s record random noises outside U2′s vacation compound, post them on Soundcloud and watch U2 nation go crazy extravaganza.  You know Larry’s behind this, right? Got to be. I envision Larry blaring some random, chopped up outtake from the editing floor during the making of Boy, sitting on the rooftop of his villa, with a pair of binoculars in one hand, a Guinness in the other, laughing his ass off at the fans with their ears plastered to the brick wall, recording. I made better mixed tapes back in the 80′s off the radio with my father yelling at me to turn that sh*t off in the background than whats been coming from the mixologists camped outside U2′s compound. If you’re camped outside U2′s compound this summer, use your phones for your Face Book updates and to call the employment office looking for leads. Your iPhone 4S sucks as a recording device. That last recording made Return of the Stingray Guitar sound like a Beethoven Overture.

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Finally, what would be a U2 summer without one picture of Bono riding his bike. A woman needs a man, like Bono needs a bicycle. I applaud your desire to stay fit, but we don’t need another back injury. There’re plenty of ways people your age can exercise: gardening, taking naps, getting your cholesterol checked regularlyall much safer than doing your Tour de France impression. You want to ride a bike, I have a stationary one in my room that’s doubling as a clothes hanger that I can let you have.

Enjoy your time, boys, and get plenty of rest. We have a tour to prepare for, after which I will need a vacation that I probably won’t be able to afford because of your ticket prices. Irony!

Longtime fan. Sixth grade teacher, married and have a 7 year old boy who is also a huge fan...he didn't have a choice.

Home Forums U2′s Summer “Reign” Has Begun!

This topic contains 50 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Chris 3 weeks, 2 days ago.

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  • #9979

    joepit
    Moderator

    The summer of Bono and the boys has begun in full earnest as southern France has taken center stage once again as the vacation spot for those who not
    [See the full post at: U2's Summer "Reign" Has Begun!]

    #9980

    Chris
    Participant

    Thumbs Up ! Summer Reigns…You can never predict ‘em !

    #9981

    joepit
    Moderator

    I predict a new U2 CD in the next 5-22 years. ;)

    #9982

    Leeny
    Participant

    With your last name I’m not surprised you can’t figure out why Bono wears jeans to the beaches in France.
    Hint: Take a look at Bono’s legs in the bike picture, then look at the people surrounding Bono on the beach. Take it from someone whose skin used to glow under black lights at the disco, not even Bono’s ego can take that kind of humiliation.

    #9983

    Chris
    Participant

    I wonder what is Jim’s prediction !

    #9984

    joepit
    Moderator

    Leeny, Bono’s not a ginger, he’d be fine. Bono has no time for shame or sorrow, but you do need some protection the thinner the skin.

    #9985

    joepit
    Moderator

    Jim knows stuff!

    #9986

    Leeny
    Participant

    Hey Chris, have you scoped out the excavation sites in Transylvania yet? The young woman I told you about will be there for another three weeks, and she’s blonde. ;)

    #9987

    Chris
    Participant

    The latest I heard from him is “Next Tour in 2018″ !

    #9988

    Leeny
    Participant

    Joe. it ain’t called cheap Irish skin for nothing.

    #9989

    Chris
    Participant

    No…I haven’t scoped out anything….I’m down to my neck in massive office work right now…And the salary is puny … I’d like to scope on a picture or 2 of hers…PM me…Who knows…maybe I’ll be crazy enough to go…

    #9990

    Chris
    Participant

    Joe…What did you expect ? The New Album ? It’s only Bono on the beach for the 15 555th time…and some noise coming from his house…Only the noobs would get crazy over such “new album details”…

    #9991

    Leeny
    Participant

    Chris I don’t have any pics, sorry. No great loss. She’s not a U2 fan anyway.

    #9992

    Chris
    Participant

    I can’t go there anyway !…

    #9993

    joepit
    Moderator

    I hear you Chris. Get off the beach and on tour. Chris, where you planning on seeing them? Leeny’s coming to Boston with her crew.

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