Sound The Siren(s): U2 Rumors On The Loose!

U2-coffee

Sound the alarm – I mean the Siren! So have you heard the news today? I can’t change it or make it go away. You know…the news/rumor/innuendo that U2 will/may/probably tour or release a CD in the next few months/years/decade.  You have to love sensationalism. You can’t spell hyperbole without hype. In this tabloid/TMZ/reality TV world of ours, is it any wonder that the Cartoon Network turned into the news?

Whichever the reason, the U2 rumor mill is in full throttle right now. Will they or won’t they? September or November? 2014 or 2015? With or Without You? Other than Propaganda, U2’s self-serving fan club magazine from back in the day, the “Propaganda” machine known as the tabloids have left U2 alone, probably due to their clean living or the fact that Ireland doesn’t have newsprint/TV accessibility/internet yet, but what if they didn’t?

What would U2 in the tabloids look like? I’m glad you asked.  In honor of all the hype/speculation/rumors floating around about U2 this week, I present to you….U2 tabloid headlines.

Bono goes to Washington looking for Bush.

5th member of new group U2, Richard Evans leaves because the other members don’t want any Dicks in the group. (See what I did there?)   ;)

Bono shows Bad timing at Live Aid.

U2 must dream it up all over again after Rattle & Hum nightmare.

U2 to play Sarajevo. No, we don’t know where it is either.

U2 wins over Super Bowl crowd, but loses football bet.

Edge’s baldness puts U2 in hairy situation.

Adam becomes a real puke in Australia after throwing up his future in U2.

Larry smiles, film at…never!

Lemon breaks down & puts sour taste in everyone’s mouth.

U2 moving fortunes to a The Netherlands proves to be a taxing issue with fans.

Bono breaks back carrying the world.

Adam’s maid really cleans up.

As ridiculously stupid as these headlines are, the tabloid news is a multi-billion dollar industry that chose to become the monster to try to defeat the monster, the monster being greed and rumors. Greed and rumors are fear, so deny them and breathe. With today’s access to social media, for whatever reason, responsibility seems to have flown right out of the window in the skies when it comes to reporting fact instead of fiction.

Stay right here at u2radio.com and we will update you immediately with accurate news and insight. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go listen to “I Heard a Rumor” by Bananarama. ;)

Longtime fan. Sixth grade teacher, married and have a 7 year old boy who is also a huge fan...he didn't have a choice.

Home Forums Sound The Siren(s): U2 Rumors On The Loose!

This topic contains 16 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  James 2 months, 4 weeks ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 17 total)
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  • #10843

    joepit
    Moderator

    Sound the alarm – I mean the Siren! So have you heard the news today? I can’t change it or make it go away. You know…the news/rumor/innuendo that U2
    [See the full post at: Sound The Siren(s): U2 Rumors On The Loose!]

    #10844

    joepit
    Moderator

    See how I post a blog about rumors, U2 reads it & feels it necessary to officially declare that Sirens will be out in September! That’s the power of U2radio.com!

    #10845

    Pam
    Participant

    I hope that the current rumors regarding the release of a new U2 single and album are true this time. Oftentimes, some mass media tend to spread very sensational headlines about celebrities. Joe, your blog includes some great references to important events of U2´s history and the tabloid headlines are hilarious! :)
    .
    Maybe the tabloids could also contain “news” such as:
    U2 let passionate flames of music burn at Red Rocks
    Are U2 ready to chop down the Joshua Tree?
    Rock Messiah Bono turns into sinister persona with dark shades
    The Edge finds harbour in the tempest as he marries belly dancer
    Adam and Larry involved in a side project: Is mission impossible?
    Hallelujah, the pope looks at the world through Bono´s sunglasses
    Bono restarts himself to win bicycle race during Tour de France

    #10846

    joepit
    Moderator

    Great headlines Pam, the Bono/Tour de France one is classic.

    #10847

    Pam
    Participant

    Thank you, Joe!

    #10849

    Leeny
    Participant

    You can’t spell hyperbole without hype.

    .
    .
    You could have written just that and this blog would be an A+.

    #10850

    joepit
    Moderator

    Thanks teach!

    #10858

    alma
    Participant

    Rumors: I don’t really pay attention to them. It would be different being someone (like a journalist) w/an inside track to question a band member directly about them (or their management). Then it would make sense. Someone posted a video that supposedly might possibly ostensibly have sounds from “Siren” – maybe. I didn’t click on it!
    .
    Pam: You’re on fire! Such delightful creativity lately! I can only imagine the headlines if the tabloids get ahold of rumors about 1 of the new U2 ice cream flavors (coming to an ice cream shoppe near u soon – maybe in September.. or November.. or in time for us to stand in the freezing Christmas weather eating an ice cream cone…). :D
    .
    Joe: Ireland not having newsprint…internet: Lol. Bad timing at Live Aid: Lol. Etc. :)

    #10859

    Pam
    Participant

    Thank you, Alma! It would be great to enjoy both a new U2 album and a few ice cream flavors soon.

    #10862

    joepit
    Moderator

    Thank you Alma & Pam, you want a new CD & new U2 flavored ice cream? Greedy!

    #10863

    Pam
    Participant

    Yes, when I celebrate the release of U2´s new album I also appreciate a bit of a culinary pleasure. Hope an ice cream truck will offer some delicious U2 flavors in every concert venue during the next tour! ;)

    #10865

    joepit
    Moderator

    Pam, all that you can’t leave behind: U2 & ice cream. ;)

    #10885

    Pam
    Participant

    That´s true, Joe. U2 need more than five years to release a new CD, so I think all fans deserve some ice cream as a reward for their patience. ;)

    #10887

    joepit
    Moderator

    Some fans will be looking for more than ice cream. They’ll be looking for whip cream & a cherry on top as well.

    #10888

    Pam
    Participant

    I guess fans will have an unquenchable hunger for ice cream if they hear about your delicious suggestions. Maybe they would also enjoy some chocolate sauce and waffles on top.

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