U2’s Next Concert!

cupofjoe U2 wants me to “Dream out loud,” fine!  I want U2 to play a concert in my house!

 Too far fetched?  Fly into the Danger Zone with me as we explore the latest, hottest stop on the concert tour…your living room.

Meet my new hero, Eric Sanchez.  Eric needs $30,000 by August 23rd to get 80’s star Kenny Loggins to play a show in Eric’s living room, so that him & his friends can get Footloose & not so fancy free.  Not having $30K in his back pocket, Eric turned to one of the greatest American pastimes….he’s begging for it.  That’s right, Eric needs your money and rather than go door to door like a traveling salesman on his mother’s side, he’s doing the next best thing, he’s “Loggin” into kickstarter.com, the site where small men with smaller wallets & big ideas go for quick money.  If you contribute $300 or more to Eric’s philanthropic adventure, you’ll be guaranteed a prime spot in Eric’s living room for the show.  I call dibs on the recliner.

Which brings me to U2.  U2 has to be twice as good as Kenny Loggins…right?  I mean, sure Kenny’s had hit songs in Top Gun, Footloose & Caddyshack that became huge radio hits, but U2 had  songs in Batman, Transformers, Gangs of New York, Ordinary Love & Million Dollar Hotel, that, that, that… never-mind.  Kenny’s spiked hair in the 80’s is no match for Bono’s mullet.  Kenny hasn’t had a radio hit in over a decade.  Neither has U2.  So, by my logic, I should be able to get U2 to play at my house for a measly $60,000.

Think about it, what a great way for U2 to road test their new material.  If the new stuff flops only 50 of us will know.  I will take care of things on my end.  The furniture I can rearrange & I won’t trade my dreams for some small change, like 60K for the biggest band in the world to play in my living room, but I do need your financial help.  I need to collect 60K by September 1st.  If we reach our goal, I’m fairly certain U2 will show up.  They have to…right?  My living room is too small for the spaceship or Lemon, but I’m confident we can fit Larry’s kit in a corner, minus his cymbals & 1 drum stick.  Bono can still bring the harmonica. If you’re interested in the concert dubbed “A Sort of Homecoming,” here’s what you need to contribute.

$10- Will get you a spot outside my house.  The muffled sound reverberating throughout the neighborhood will more than make up for your lack of viewing pleasure.  Picnic blankets are allowed, but not on my “Fields of mourning” lawn that still gives no resistance….to growing. I just had it reseeded.

$40- Will get you a seat in my bathroom, minus the toilet for obvious reasons.  Anyone caught rummaging through my medicine cabinet will be removed immediately.  Toilet paper will be provided for an additional charge.

$100- Will get you into the hallway adjacent to the living room.  Some areas of the hallway are obstructed, so get there early.  The less you see, the more you know that you should have coughed up some more dough.  The GA line will start in my driveway the night before the show.  If the show is on a Wednesday, could the person closest to the trash cans, please place them curbside?

$500- Will get you into the living room, but not a seat.  Destruction of my son’s Legos, purposely or by accident, will mean immediate removal from my home with no refund.  Due to a very limited viewing area, swinging to the music in any shape, way or form will not be tolerated.

$1,000- Will get you a guaranteed seat for prime viewing.  However, you must remain seated the entire time.  If you stand, the show will stop immediately and a lottery for relinquished seat will occur.

Make no mistake, this is it!  This is the show of a lifetime.  Like Eric says, “Don’t do it for Kenny…Do it for America!”

http://kck.st/1zI9bWA

"U2's Next Concert!", 5 out of 5 based on 5 ratings.

Longtime fan. Sixth grade teacher, married and have a 7 year old boy who is also a huge fan...he didn't have a choice.

Home Forums U2’s Next Concert!

This topic contains 24 replies, has 6 voices, and was last updated by  Pam 1 month, 1 week ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 25 total)
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  • #11086

    joepit
    Moderator

    U2 wants me to “Dream out loud,” fine!  I want U2 to play a concert in my house!  Too far fetched?  Fly into the Danger Zone with me as we explore the
    [See the full post at: U2's Next Concert!]

    #11087

    Chris
    Participant

    =)))))

    #11088

    joepit
    Moderator

    Chris, your cute little smiley faces doesn’t help finance this concert. SHOW ME THE MONEY! ;)

    #11090

    Chris
    Participant

    Sorry man, I’m broke ! Ask the Old Man…she’s a dentist…dentists are rich !!!

    #11092

    alma
    Participant

    “So, by my logic, I should be able to get U2 to play at my house for a measly $60,000.”
    .
    Joe: The 1st time u crack me up in an article always stops me in my tracks. So I haven’t read further than that sentence yet but I thought I’d stop reading & let u know I was LOL.

    #11093

    alma
    Participant

    “I need to collect 60K by September 1st.”
    .
    2nd LOL of the article! This time almost double the laughter.
    .
    And I need to collect 120K by this time next week or else I’ll miss out on the chance to…uh…well…I’ll think of some use for it soon enough & let u know. :D

    #11094

    joepit
    Moderator

    $120k for U2 maybe 20 years ago. 60k should cover it Ana, how much you donating?

    #11095

    alma
    Participant

    What does $41 get us? Maybe a sub renewal at ‘u2-dot-who-even-goes-there-anymore?-com’ – and for the extra buck Joe will call your house from his living room during the concert & hold the phone up towards the stage to let u hear just your favorite INTRO of a u2 song (which for me would be the intro to ‘With or Without You’) – but then he hangs up, leaving u wishing you’d coughed up the dough for him to hold the phone up a little longer. After all, he has to give the public an incentive to cough up more moolah at future living room concerts, right?! :D
    .
    “If we reach our goal, I’m fairly certain U2 will show up.” Hey, if u build it, they will come, right? Unless the stage is built from Legos.

    #11096

    alma
    Participant

    “60k should cover it Ana, how much you donating?”
    .
    Ana? Alma. Reminds me of the time David Letterman hosted the Oscars & saw Oprah Winfrey & the actress Uma Thurman in the front row (not sitting next to each other) & he gestured towards them 1 at a time, ‘introducing’ them to each other like this: “Oprah – Uma. Uma – Oprah.” And I thought it was funny. But the next day when the critics panned his performance, at least 1 of them gave that as an example of non-funniness. And I thought ‘that shows what the critics know.’ (But I think he never hosted the Oscars again.) ANYways – I only mention it because I heard he’s RETIRING in 2 WEEKS!
    .
    What’s that got to do w/donating towards the 60k, u might ask. And you’d have a point. How about if I donate enough for u to buy a box of ‘Special K’ cereal to serve dry in little cups at the concert? Does that count? :D

    #11097

    joepit
    Moderator

    Sorry Alma. ;). The Unknown Caller for $1 is brilliant. Love it.

    #11099

    Ana
    Participant

    $2,000 includes a private visit to your blue room with Bono?

    #11100

    joepit
    Moderator

    Alma, there will be no meeting of the band, however Dallas Schoo’s barber will make himself available after the show for any questions.

    #11101

    Ana
    Participant

    Alma? you have a problem with the names, hope that doesn’t happen with mrs Joe’s name

    #11102

    joepit
    Moderator

    Beautiful girls confuse me. ;)

    #11104

    Leeny
    Participant

    There is only one choice for me and that is the lawn ticket. Anything else would be a waste of money because I’d get kicked out within the first minutes of the opening song anyway. U2 in your living room and you’d ask me to sit or stand motionless. Baby you’re so cruel.

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