How Can U2 Thank Their Fans? Here’s An Idea

Have you ever wished U2 would hold more interactive fan incentives – as in, events that reward hardcore devotees like ourselves? As in, events where we get to…I don’t know…meet them? I know there are a few of you out there who can say you’ve met one or more of the guys in person, but since I’m sadly not one of them, I absolutely would like to see this happen. Since U2 is always trying to emulate young, trendy acts, I’d like to propose that they model this effort after the greatest marketer/fan incentivizer of them all: one Taylor Swift. As the mom of a Swiftie, I know all about her “secret sessions” held at each of her half a dozen homes throughout the contiguous United States, wherein groups of local fangirl bloggers were invited to preview her album before its release as they drowned in buckets of their own joyful tears. Don’t worry: I’m done talking about Taylor Swift. Now it’s time to talk about how U2 could stage some superfan sessions of their own, to thank those of us who have stuck by them and given them a great life (as I’ve said before, Bono, you’re welcome. Now, here’s how you can repay us).

Bono and Edge each have homes in Dublin, the south of France and New York City. Therefore, those three locations are a shoe-in for what I will call Gathering of the Legion of U2 Superfans Gratitude Summit 2015. Because Edge also has a home near LA, this too could be the site of one such meeting and that I insist on, solely because it’s the location nearest me. Now, because the album has been released, they obviously wouldn’t have us preview it during the meetings (unless SOE comes out this year, in which case, preview away). But assuming it doesn’t, U2 would simply use these summits as a way of rewarding us for our dedication and getting our valuable input on strategies for the tour. That’s right: This is where you can all beg them to play “Acrobat.” I’ll be the one timidly raising her hand, hoping Bono calls on me so I can sheepishly gasp out the words, “Actually, I’d kind of rather hear ‘A Sort of Homecoming.’ Is that do-able?” After he laughs, says something charming and asks for my Twitter handle, he’ll say, “Done. Any other requests?” We’ll all ask that they pencil in shout-outs to our individual cities via that great city shout-out vehicle that’s been absent from the past several tours: “Stay (Faraway So Close).” Bono will look at Adam, who will shrug politely and sip his tea, then Larry, who will look grumpily handsome because that’s not exactly a Larry showcase song. Edge will say, “Sounds good,” and Bono will declare in that fabulous voice he uses when he’s feigning excitement, “There it is, then! Shout-outs for all!” Then we’ll all sing, “Oh. Oh. Oooh, ooh, ooh, ohh…” (yes, from “Stay”). It will be amazing…oh, to dream out loud.