I am beginning to regret getting my son, wife and I U2 tickets for Boston #4.

I have totally “kamakazied” my 8 year old son. Jim Jones and his Kool-Aid have nothing on me. Forget about Into the Heart, I have permanently embedded U2 into my son’s heart, soul and mind, to the point where it’s getting a little scary. While his friend’s are Shaking it off to Taylor Swift or telling each other to, “Shut up & Dance,” he’s walking around, saying things like: “I can see those fighter planes,” or “Blue eyed boy meets a brown eye girl.” It’s only a matter of time before I get a phone call from his principal or teacher saying that he told one of his classmates who got in trouble, “Don’t let the bastards grind you down.” Even his answers to me have been cryptic U2 song titles or lyrics:

How was school? Magnificent

How many games you think the Red Sox will win this year? 40

Are you ready for bed? In a little while

One month out from bringing my son to his 1st concert ever in Boston and I’m not sure if I can take much more of this. As if my wife needs another reason to hate me. Listen, it’s too late for me. I became enshrined into U2’s Kool Aid drinking fan club over 30 years ago, but I’m at a crossroads with my son. If he continues down this path much longer, it may be too late for him. Sure, I want him to listen to other bands, which we do, but it always ends up back at U2. Do I want him to become a “Bono”fide nut like me? At this point, he’s more concerned about Edge’s well being than my own.

Thankfully, we will be in the balcony for his 1st show, however, it’s the 1st row. What happens if City of Blinding Lights comes on and Bono’s looking for some kid to bring on stage? Do I need to tether him to the railing so that he’s not taking a nosedive into Larry’s kit, just to get on stage?

Listen, I know that kids usually emulate most of the things from their parents, whether it be politics, sports, eating habits and musical choices, but this may be heading in the direction of no return. Someone out there must have experienced something similar. Did your kids end up well adjusted or are they now locked away deep in an insane asylum, sitting in a padded room, struggling to get out of their strait jacket, so that they can eat off one of their limbs? Does child services need to get involved? Can I be arrested for contributing to the delinquency of a minor U2 fan with a major obsession? If found guilty, is jail time required or something much worse, like being forced to listen to top 40 radio?

Any advice you can offer will be well received.